I have just listened to Brene Brown who is a researcher. She discovered that those who are fulfilled have an aspect of shame resilience.
To explain further, most people want to be connected to someone, to people. What holds us back is the idea that we should be as society deems. Skinny, rich, healthy, social, family oriented and the list goes on depending on the environment you have been bought up in.
Because of this we would rather pretend (hence the huge debt people are in) in order meet those ideals. Although this may succeed in getting other people to believe this pretence, it does not seem to fit with who we truly are (hence to repercussion of debt).
What Brene says is that if we allow ourselves to be shamed this releases us from having to meet others ideals.
What is beneath the shame is vulnerability in that we allow everyone to see us completely un-alered and with no pretence.
To put ourselves through this punishment is to live a life that aligns with our own idea of worthiness and on top of that CONNECTIONS that are authentic. To let yourself be shamed is to let yourself be free from those invisible shackles.
What does this mean as a coach?
When a client is stuck and is afraid I will:
- question further
- acknowledge the core of the fear
- highlight the goal
- discuss the process towards the goal
– identify fact and fiction
- push small steps
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
